she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
