Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
