you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize