I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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