its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
