I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
