I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
