I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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