It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
