What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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