At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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