so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
