I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
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