Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Randomize
