Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
