dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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