She went from zero to smokin in five shots
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Randomize
