**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Why is your signature on my underwear?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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