You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I'm both gender and math confused
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
