someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
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