i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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