fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
