Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
