Your mouth is God's brothel.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
