Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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