he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
its liver damage thursday
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