forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
