she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
