he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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