This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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