my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
