Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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