i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
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