drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
