Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
