I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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