So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
