And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Can you repeat that, but with context?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
