ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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