Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize