He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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