Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
