Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Randomize
