Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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