Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
