Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
You've changed since you got that strap on
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
