Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
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