I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
