Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
