I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
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