Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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