haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
