Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
