i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Randomize
