When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
