Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize