paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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